The best place to find a man with similar values, is out enjoying your favorite hobbies and interests. You might find this hard to believe, considering the world no longer functions on multiple modes. Every aspect of our life must now have a time and place. When you want to exercise, you go to a gym. If you want to breathe air, you go to an oxygen lounge. If you want to find a date, you hang out in a single’s bar, online dating website, or speed dating venue.
When you streamline love so that it fits into your busy schedule, you miss out on the opportunities that are all around you. How many of you really like going to a single’s club to meet men? Not that many I would suspect. I’m not saying that you should sit back and not have initiative, but think about the places you’re currently looking, as birds of a feather really do flock together.
The Anti-Shortcut
Taking the shortcut to finding love is a tactic many women use to overcome their fear of being alone. If you define your happiness by the idea of being loved and accepted by others, your ultimate happiness will always be in control of other people. Today, I invite you to take back that control, and discover that time is on your side when you’re spending it in great company… your own company!
While doing the things you enjoy, you’re reminding yourself that happiness can be achieved whether you’re alone or in a relationship. This is easy to forget, considering the advertising media is constantly bombarding our senses with images of sex, love, and romance. The simple fact is, it is better to be in love with yourself, then with the wrong person. It is better to spend your time doing what you like, then dangling yourself in murky water, waiting for your tuna to arrive.
If you have the confidence to be your own happiness, you don’t need to fear being lonely. You are self-assured, self-sufficient, and would be a catch for any man. Studies show that women make the best choice in men, when they narrow down their choices to just a handful of hopefuls. Nevertheless, it seems women are drawn to the largest single’s venues, offering the biggest and (supposed) best selection of man stock in town.
However, there is a better way.
Overcome Your Fears
One of the biggest draws to a single’s bar, is the reduced fear of rejection. You may hesitate to approach a guy in a grocery store, because you’re risking the possibility, he’s attached, or even worse, appearing too desperate. It’s easier to approach a guy wearing an “I’m, available” tag at a speed dating event, then to strike up a conversation at the deli counter, casually offering your phone number, in case he has any other questions about stinky cheese.
What you have to consider, is a guy at a dating venue might be looking, but he may not necessarily be available, either (married, girlfriend, prefers cats, whatever). Finding love is more about overcoming your fears, then discovering the best places to meet somebody. You already know where to go. He’s waiting in line at your favorite bakery, yelling out his window as you cut him off on the freeway, or writing your name on a cup, as you decide between a single or double shot of mocha.
Finding Nemo
Make a list of all the things you like to do, then join a club, sign up to be a volunteer, or take up a leisure sport you’ve always wanted to try. Immerse yourself in the world around you, and the activities you enjoy. You will have a better chance of finding your Nemo, fishing in your favorite goldfish bowl, then throwing your hook into the vast sea of horny tuna. Don’t get me wrong. Finding love takes effort, but probably not as much as you think.